E-commerce or Ebay?

I was stopped in the street the other day. Usual thing...."Is it true you know about computers?"

Now, normally, I try to find a way to answer "No" as I can't fix many technical problems with computers and can't be bothered with, "My motherboard seems to have blown" or "The hard drive has just re-formatted itself, please can you rescue all my files?".

Let's be truthful...I'm an Internet marketer, not some sort of hardware geek (honest!). I have an exceptional contact list that has taken years to build up to solve problems I can't deal with. (Doh, I'm female, not stupid! I also ask directions when I'm lost.....).



But, back to the point: it's someone I know and respect and, if the next question was beyond me, then at least I know I know someone (probably locally) to help. So, I said, "Yes".

The next question put it much more into my realm...."Do you know about websites?". Bring it on, much more my sort of thang!

"I've got all my numbers....." (Hmmm?) "...and I need a website built to sell my products, can you help me?" Thought we'd better clarify the numbers thing, thinking I'd fallen back into some sort of pre ICANN timewarp to when Compuserve existed etc and everything ran on IP addresses only.

Managed to abate the panic enough to finally work out he meant his ftp details. "Ah, those numbers! Yep, that's fine".

God, I was so relieved. I hated trying to remember IP addresses in the old days - humans are only made to remember a certain number of telephone numbers, not IPs as well! I have a friend who seems to remember the IP address of every server and website he has ever worked on, as well as the BBC and other sites - just in case the DNS goes down, I guess, but...hell, how sad is that?! (But, then that's why he is in my address book - just in case that day ever comes!)

And this is why, of course, mobile phone address books are so important to us and we all panic if we lose our phone. None of us can remember all the numbers our friends and family now have. You hear wails of "But I don't know how to reach my boyfriend/husband/mum/kids...." etc at the site of a mobile phone loss or theft.

I guess that's another post about backing up, and WRITING things down!! (Oh yes, and then there's that fantabulous money making idea for a directory enquiry service that doesn't belong to BT et al with all our numbers in it so we can be found.....!)

But I digress (as Tom Lehrer said so infamously).

Back to this acquaintance of mine who was looking for a website.....I knew from the moment he pulled up, this is never going to be a site build that will make me rich as I wouldn't ever want to charge him more than a couple of hundred quid at the mostest, but you think on your feet when you are faced with 'on the street' pitches!

That'll be the third cheapo website in a week I have been asked for, so if you are a website designer who can churn these things out, get in touch - nowt fancy required).

"Do you have an Ebay store?" "No, can you do that for me too?"

Now, instantly, what I see, as someone who has right gone off work during my period of enforced retirement, is an easy way out. Build ebay store, spend half a day on it, teach [unnamed person] to use it and add items etc, charge a coupla quid (probably in Guinness), walk away.

"Yep", she says, ready to return to walking down the street.

"Well, I want one of those as well as a website".

"Oh...OK. What are you selling?"

Now, because I am determined that this blog and its contents will be transferred to the new Web PR site and win all sorts of organic search challenges, I am going to add these keywords. Not just to enhance the value of this story, you understand, which I think it does anyway!

"Sheep shearers".

Now, I saw the Thorn Birds, way back when with Richard Chamberlain, Rachel Ward, and Brian Brown (who everyone swears blind wasn't the guy who spoke backwards in that kids programme with the talking aspidistra - The Adventure Game, wasn't it?!).

Sheep shearers? Australian ones? In Cumbria? In Eden? Definitely bring them on!!! I'll build the site!!!

"I'll come round with some ideas in the next few days," he added, and drove off into the night.

Now, I spend my life looking at keywords - synonyms, antonyms, phrases, potential keywords, you name it. He'd gone about 10yds before my boringly Thesaurus-trained mind came up with sheep clippers. As in: the item you use to clip sheep. Not a full-blooded sweaty Australian or New Zealand male shearer, but an electric clipping machine. Or even, which potentially it could be knowing this guy, an antique, hand-powered, or even an environmentally-friendly bicicyle-powered clipping thingamijig.

I nearly called him back and said unless he could guarantee that he was bringing some new, good to look at blokes around here, who were likely to drink in our local, I wasn't doing it. And then some part of me thought, "No, you owe him anyway, build him the Ebay site and a 3 page site with a content management tool on it, and just be glad of the work."

But, when he comes round about this website, I am going to suggest that there may be some mileage in this "bringing over guys to shear sheep in UK" suggestion, and if he would pay, I am willing to go to Oz and NZ and look into it as a business proposition for him. Cos, after all, the Down underers are busy nicking all our best skilled people and farming in this country is suffering (as are rural females), so why not?!

[Note to partner: this is a blog post! It is keyword rich and tongue in cheek! But, PHWOAAA!]